I desire to finish the marathon
I have had family to die of Leukemia
I am tired of living with the pain from a connective tissue disorder
I desire to have real quality of life that is not dependent on medication
I have given to myself this extended time for training for I understand my body, myself, and how spirit works in my life. I shall have returned to a healthy lifestyle by the end of my training. I shall return to the person I was during my younger years. In those years of my life I had hope no matter what odds I faced. I enjoyed each day for the beauty of the day and the lessons I received from each day.
At some point in my younger years I began to value the opinion of another over my own; all in the name of love. That one opening, in the wall I had built after a childhood of abuse, was enough to allow every discouraging word to take residence in my psyche. I turned to food for comfort. Although my cousins became living victims of the connective tissue disorder that runs rampant in my family during their teenage years, I escaped because of my diet as a child. We ate very little food that we did not either grow or raise. I had very little fast food in my life and even less sugar. After leaving home I allowed life to change me. Eating anything, emotional stress, physical abuse, and the stress of working long hours began to take a toll on me. I went from being 95lbs to 200lbs at my heaviest.
It was not until I came to understand that what I thought as a freak incident, when I was 33, was actually a stroke that I knew I had to make changes. I have learned many lessons in the failures and successes I have had since I started actively working to improve my health in 2004. The best lesson I have learned is how to control my reactions to the stressors in my life. Controlling my reactions is the reason I know 2011 will be the year I successfully return to a healthy lifestyle.
My mother, who is always discussing my weight gain, was my first detractor this morning. She wanted to know why I did not make another type of smoothie instead of the one I made. When I said to her that I was doing something for my health, she claimed to only be joking and that I should not become angry. I reminded her words have meaning and that one should choose one’s words carefully. My biggest stressor in life has been my mother. She has always been able to reduce me to tears faster than Boehner watching a Veterans’ Day parade. Yet, I continue to return to her when she calls. My change in lifestyle means a change in how I shall relate to my mother.
This morning I arose to enjoy a detox smoothie (collard greens, apple, banana, water, and red pepper). I used red pepper to aid in the reduction of the swelling that is currently in my body. My son was my camera man. I expect him to improve his camera skills and I to improve my directing skills during the course of my training. I am keeping the faith 5 hours into training. I am starting with training my mind more so than my body. My week will be focused on stretching, light aerobics, internal body cleansing, and controlling my reaction to stressors.
Warning the video quality is along the lines of the Blair Witch Project. Quality will improve as we gain experience.