This weekend I had dedicated to finally finishing my NaNoWriMo
novel , I can say with certainty, it won’t happen this year. The last time I update my blog was after Mike
Brown was killed. I have been
depressed. Tonight, I am up writing not
because of Mike Brown but rape. Sadly we
live in a rape driven culture.
Rape is accepted as a strange norm in America. Rappers rap about, Eminem . It is used as a threat to keep kids out of
prision, “Got soap on a rope?” Even my
favorite television show depicts violent sexual scenes. Rape, in our developed first world nation, is
accepted.
As long as I live, I shall never forget a woman telling to
me the story of her desire to beat a teenager (15) for having sex with her
husband. I asked her if she thought the
teen was the issue. A forty plus year
old man with a 15 year old girl is rape.
There is nothing sexy about a 15 year old. A 15 year old can only consent to fries with
that shake.
I remember a former lover telling to me one night her
fantasy of being raped by a group of Black guys. I remember lying there thinking, “What the fuck?” “Do I dare to sleep tonight?’ She had normalized the “rape” that occurred
during her college years by White males.
I learned she had been a party
favor. She self-medicated with cases of
beer and pills.
A person who is either drunk or drugged cannot consent to
sex.
I could end this post now but I shall not. When I was raped it was by someone I
trusted. I wasn't drunk or high. I was wearing a sweat suite. I was not asking for it. I was asking to live. When I told my friends, who were also friends
of my attacker, they insisted I was lying.
They then insisted it would ruin his life if I said anything. My
self-worth at that time took a double hit.
When I read the comments about the Cosby allegations, I feel those
feelings I thought were dead.
We have supposedly scholarly people making stupid comments about the accusers. Don Lemon
gave out the advice to bite someone when forced into fellatio. Other social commentators are writing in the
national newspapers about the length of time in coming forth. I read these comments with an understanding
these people haven’t been raped. They don’t understand their comments are the reason rapes go
unreported.
My reasons rapes go unreported:
- · Guilt. You think you made someone rape you.
- · Coerced by either the rapists or others to keep quiet.
- · Fear of rejection from others.
- · If you don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen.
The women coming forth are being accused of wanting book
deals. People are asking why Cosby
didn't rape all the women who had worked with him over the years. I even
had someone say, “There is no way a Black man could rape a White woman in the
60’s and not go to jail.” I hung my head
at her words. These alleged rapes
happened before I was born. I don’t know either the accusers or Mr. Cosby. I can’t
say if they did or didn't happen. I can
say we need to check our responses. The responses I have heard allow the
rape culture to continue.
In 1969 Bill Cosby was a rising star. He was the poster child of Black done right
during a period of great civil unrest in America. Could he have done such and gotten away with
it? Hell yeah. There is someone in the news today who should
be under the jail but I can’t recall this person stepping foot in a court room.
Some people gain such privilege in
exchange for making money for others.
I acknowledge there have been false accusations of
rape. False accusations only justify the
blaming of victims of actual rapes. I
would rather err on the side of the victim being honest than to deny the
incident occurred.
There may be a statute
of limitation on rape but the harm lasts for generations. It will play itself out in the lives of the children
of both the victim and the rapist. It
is important for the victim to address the rape in his/her timeframe. It can take years to address the harm done
from rape. It is wrong to have a
timetable on rape. Note: pedophilia is also rape.
My summation on the Cosby matter is :
We need to stop blaming the victim. Victim is not a bad word by the way.
- We need to stop accepting rape as normal
- Rape doesn’t make you manly or increases your intelligence
- Bill Cosby has made his money. He doesn’t need to do jack.
- Some of the accusers are pensionable age.
- If he did it, he needs to come clean. Give to his victims the closure needed.
- If he didn’t then these women are doing great harm to women who have been raped.
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/bill-cosby-paid-women-ex-nbc-employee-article-1.2020464
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